Summer Dayz - Orders of Business 3-4

If you haven't read Orders of business 1-2 yet, you might wanna Catch Up

Order of business three: See Europe. No summer can go by without seeing Europe. Well, I guess 15 of my summers have gone by without even knowing where Kansas is, but before I became a junior I had to see Europe!

This would be difficult, since we had no plane reservations, and no plans to see Europe…so I came up with a brilliant idea. I have this neighbor who’s filthy rich and has this fancy schmancy telescope that he uses to stargaze. My neighbor’s garage just so happened to be open, so I walked over (or limped rather, after my skydiving incident) and pulled out their telescope. I peered through it, trying to angle it toward Europe. All I saw was the sky though, no matter which way I turned.

“What are you doing with our telescope?” a voice behind me asked.

My heart jumped. I had been caught using my neighbor’s telescope without their permission to see a foreign country. Not wanting to seem guilty of any sins, I casually responded

“Seeing Europe”
As if it were natural for someone with a dirty beach towel draped over their shoulders, dirt in their hair and bruises on their face to steal their neighbor’s telescope and try to see Europe through it.

“Uh…” My neighbor is speechless. He must see now that my intentions were fully justified. To remove any doubt from his mind, I added,
“If I focus it just right I can see Big Ben.”

I could tell he was glaring at me, even though I wasn’t looking at him, so at that point I took off as fast as I could and ran back into my house.

Order of business four: Surfing. I’d never gone surfing before. It seemed like the perfect summer thing to do before I officially became a junior. We live a half an hour away from the beach, however, and there wasn’t enough time in the day to plan a trip out.

I don’t have a surf board either…

Fortunately, there’s a river rather close to my house. Just a short bike ride away…

(Enter mom)

“Holly, where are you going with that furniture dolly strapped to your bike?”

So many questions.

“To the river.”

Geez. Where else would I be going with a furniture dolly?

I arrived at the river. It was moving very rapidly and there were lots of sharp rocks protruding from the surface. This meant only one thing…

“Surf’s up!”

I shoved the furniture dolly into the water and then climb on board. I tried to stand up, but the rapids were going so fast I fell onto my face. The dolly hit some rapids and went spinning down the river as I grabbed on for dear life. I passed a few Japanese tourists in kayaks as I floated downriver on top of the furniture dolly. This would be a good time to practice my foreign language.

“Bon jour!”

It’s really too bad my foreign language isn’t Japanese.

They looked at each other.

“Crazy Americans”

Summer Dayz - Orders of Business 1-2

Sorry it's been over 2 months since our last post. We're just really talented at procrastinating. Without further ado, our feature presentation

Summer. The season of warm weather, no school, beach trips, prank calls, and putting “z” at the end of words that normally should end with “s”

Alas, today is my last day of summer. This seems to occur every year, but this year, it happened much too soon. After a grueling year of doing 5 courses online plus chemistry, plus economics (which I ended up dropping anyway), plus speech and debate, and thus forgoing eating and sleeping to complete it, this last summer was the one I anticipated the most. It was so free, so idle, so boring, so uneventful.

So summer.

But it was also probably the fastest summer I’ve ever had. Now, here I sit, telling you how I made the most of my last day of summer. I did the kinds of things you do when you hear that you’re terminally ill and only have 3 months to live. Except for me, I’m terminally junior-bound and only have a day left to be a care free sophomore. I wouldn’t let the day be wasted! I’d make it the most summerific of all summer days!

First order of business was waking up. Not just any kind of waking up, but waking up late. The best times to wake up on a summer morning is at a time with 2 digits before the colon. Not only that: but someone else must do the waking up for you.
(Enter Mom)
“Holly! You’re not up yet? You usually don’t sleep in this late!”

I roll over and glance at my clock

9:59

Blast!

Second order of business: Extreme sports. I decided I wanted to skydive before I became a junior. Unfortunately, I didn’t have all the equipment necessary (such as a plane or a parachute), so I had to make a couple substitutions…

(Enter Mom)

“HOLLY!!! What are you doing on the roof with our beach towel?!”

“It’s ok mom! I used to do this a hundred times off the stairs when I was a kid!”

This was true. I did used to jump off the stairs using my blanket as a parachute. I didn’t seem to recall the hundred times I fell to the landing with a thud.

“Bonzaaaiiii!!”

THUD

What’s summer without a few broken bones?

Stay tuned for the next orders of business on Summer dayz!