Nail Cement

Dear Give a Gripe,

What is the best way to get nail polish to stay on your fingers without peeling off for a semi-long length of time?

~The painter

Dear Painter,
I would have to say the most effective method is to apply wet cement on top of your polish. You'll never 'deal with peel' again (though if you accidentally get the seed of a large tree in there you may run into some other problems...) You'll probably need to apply it with a shovel as opposed to a little brush, but it'll definitely get the results you seek.

Though it's hard to find wet cement in a variety of colors, you can buy a can of spray paint for about $8 more, ranging in colors from pastels to glow-in-the-dark to apply over the cement block (which is over the original polish which is over your nail.)

Though you won't be able to find buckets of wet cement in the makeup department of any store, you can always check the back of the store where it smells like playdough and you can tell that the store workers haven't shaved for a while...

So now you can have lovely colorful nails that will never peel....In fact, they won't ever come off unless you purchase a handy dandy jackhammer and chisel set for $330 more.

There you have it. For about $346, you can get colorful cement nails (and remover) and never worry about polish peeling again....

Or you could just reapply your nail polish when it starts to peel...for about $1.50

-GAG