Nail Cement

Dear Give a Gripe,

What is the best way to get nail polish to stay on your fingers without peeling off for a semi-long length of time?

~The painter

Dear Painter,
I would have to say the most effective method is to apply wet cement on top of your polish. You'll never 'deal with peel' again (though if you accidentally get the seed of a large tree in there you may run into some other problems...) You'll probably need to apply it with a shovel as opposed to a little brush, but it'll definitely get the results you seek.

Though it's hard to find wet cement in a variety of colors, you can buy a can of spray paint for about $8 more, ranging in colors from pastels to glow-in-the-dark to apply over the cement block (which is over the original polish which is over your nail.)

Though you won't be able to find buckets of wet cement in the makeup department of any store, you can always check the back of the store where it smells like playdough and you can tell that the store workers haven't shaved for a while...

So now you can have lovely colorful nails that will never peel....In fact, they won't ever come off unless you purchase a handy dandy jackhammer and chisel set for $330 more.

There you have it. For about $346, you can get colorful cement nails (and remover) and never worry about polish peeling again....

Or you could just reapply your nail polish when it starts to peel...for about $1.50

-GAG

Questions

Dear Give a Gripe,

WHY ARE PEOPLE ALWAYS SO RELUCTANT TO ANSWERE VERY SIMPLE QUESTIONS!?!?!?

~The Questioner

(Space bean and Hol were reluctant to answer this question, so Aranel did. We think she did a pretty good job too =) )

Dear Questioner,

We at Give a Gripe, after some thought and observation have come to the conclusion that the answer to your question, depends largely on who is asking the question (or the asker). For example if some big scary looking biker dude comes up to you and says, "Hey! What're you looking at?" or "What's your problem?" or some other such question, one would be reluctant to answer to save aforementioned one's neck. A person is likely to give them a weird look, look away, and other wise pretend not to have heard the question, for fear of answering the question in a anger provoking manner. That is of course unless you have suicidal tendencies, and also happen to like getting beat up.
However, if the asker is not such a fear provoking person, some reasons for not receiving an answer may be they think you're being sarcastic, think think you're joking, they think you know the answer already, or they very simply didn't hear you.

-G.A.G

Letter to Our Readers

Dear Readers,

We here at GAG would like to apologize for our inconsistency. You'll note that our last post was posted in March. It is now April. This is not acceptable. Now that we have people besides the three of us who are reading and even commenting our posts, we owe you our time and you are entitled to our opinionated opinions.

Now that we have you in the palm of our hand, we have to put some blame on you too. This site is called "Give a Gripe" (Also called by the totally unintentional but kind of ironic and humorous acronym, 'GAG') Meaning we created this blog so that you could give us your questions, ideas and gripes and we could base our posts on those. Yes, we do other things (anecdotes, schpiels) but we do not wish for the purpose of this blog to become obsolete. So write us. Please. We need material. Don't make us beg. Aw, shoot, we're begging. Look whatchya done!

We don't care how frivolous, embarrassing, personal or ridiculous your problems are. You can always use a pen name and no one will know who you are save for me, my two colleagues, my hair dresser, my parakeet, my parents, Uncle Mel...I'm being told I don't have time to finish this list and must move on...

So please, don't hesitate to click the "E-mail us" button in the top right corner. Wasting just a little time to save a website meant to make you laugh. And laughter is the best medicine right? You don't want to deprive the world of laughter. Not sending us an e-mail would be just like kicking a puppy. Feel the guilt.

With regards,

-GAG